March 1, 2007

  • Thieving Thursday

    I'm sitting at my desk after an intense morning of work. Yesterday the company's email server went out so most of that morning was wasted. 3PM the email is restored and I find long queue of work awaiting me. Email after email appeared in my inbox, totally discouraging me to even attempt to finish it. I finished it exactly at 5PM and left. This morning I find my queue refreshed and replenished with a new set of emails. Goodness.

    All this work today helped me find a groove and I'm enjoying this day.

    Sleep is for the weak, and I'm weak.

    Lately I've been sleeping much earlier. I've been very good with my sleep schedule. Some days I would sleep at 8PM and wake up at 5AM and other days I would sleep at 9PM and get up at 5:30AM.  Now I consider getting up at 5:30 AM late. That's mostly because I have to get in and grab a parking spot at 6:30 or else I'm fucked and I have to fork over 9 bucks for parking.

    Loving me

    Coming in early really helps me psychologically. In the morning I listen to music, play some mini basketball, or attempt to do some tricks on the foosball table( no luck there). Usually I have to reserve Sunday as my Vinh day because every other day is dedicated to work or friends. But Sunday is also laundry day so I don't get to relax and contemplate on my strengths and weaknesses in my daily life.

    Strength? Weakness?

    Now that I've fixed up my sleep schedule, I find myself focusing on the problems of my personality and if such problems are truly "problems".

    So here are my problems with my personality that I've thought of today (and I have more). I'm too aggressive and I swear too much. Aggression isn't exactly the word that would easily describe this fault in my nature. I'm straightforward, brash, to the point. Sometimes I lack patience but I'll speak of that later.

    Most days I come home exhausted and tired from work and I find those days fulfilling because I don't leave much to regret. However, when I do find I regret something, it's usually a fault of my own. These regrets all stem from my aggressiveness. (and no I'm not telling since they're all minor incidents and there's too many to choose from).

    However, I find myself trying to tone down that aggression. I do find my straightforwardness very helpful in the workplace and in my life. Before senior year in high school, I was the wimpiest of wimps. I wouldn't stand up for my self or my ideals. I isolated myself and I made sure that whatever happened around me didn't involve me.

    Jackass in all trades
    For example, Brad Dufresne. He was a jackass and one of the people who would bully others around because of his own insecurities. An emo girl named Courtney Cox sat in front of me. Brad would rail on her like no tomorrow, making fun of her hair and her taste in music. I remember the last incident that I could remember involved her telling Brad that he's an asshole and turning to me and calling me an asshole for not helping her out. I gave her a look and returned to staring a hole of boredom into my desk. I didn't give a fuck about her problems. Now that I look back, I would have decked Brad in the face. I would have gotten away with it too considering that back in that year, a teacher punched a kid in the jaw and got away with it. (Mr. Gurry is an asshole who has a drinking problem).

    Oh, Prince Charming
    People think highly of who they were as a child. A child that was naive but was filled with wonder and optimism for the world. Some girls still hold on to those fantasies of Prince Charming even.

    But I think the opposite. As a child, I hated my naivete. As I entered college, I used my sheltered life at home as a crutch to my ignorance. I hated that. I'm still ignorant today but I strive to open my mind. Sometimes it's a struggle and many times I fail, but I work towards that goal which is more than I can say for others.

Comments (2)

  • Nifty entry. The aggressiveness in me would be described as "tactlessness," I believe. Same with you, I'm to the point, and don't typically beat around the bush for the sake of whomever may be emotionally involved. That's given me problems on numerous occasions...

    Good luck with the mind-opening. It's important stuff.

  • I like your brashness. It amuses me at times but it is good in situations where I think of saying something, but you have already beat me to it. I remember Mr. Doyle getting super pissed at Brad.

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